No. I made a lot of mistakes. I keep telling this to myself. "If I....." But I know things wouldn't change. The ones that hurt will be left with the scars. The things that already happened can't be undone and I am ready to face everything as a result for the things that I have done.
However, in this journey, I know that the same thing will happen over again. Only this time, with other person, another place, and another situation. One thing that kept constant is the conflict. It will always be the same.
I learnt something. Sometimes you just need to give up to save you friendship or relationship. I lost so many friendships before and I don't want it to ever happen again but now, it seems that I lost my hope on this. I am starting to get tired to interfere others life while I don't even actually have the right to do it.
I think that I lost my sense of humanity of giving other people their privacy in life. I definitely hate myself for this. I think maybe if the right time has come, I'll leave certain people's life and pretend like nothing have ever happen. It hurts but its okay to sacrificed as long as they are happy.
When I am sad, I will keep on smiling to others, because I don't know who is in the pain at that moment same as mine. To see other people feeling down will only making you feel worse.
Najib, a friend of mine said that "No matter how you think people didn't notice or care about you, especially the people that you really care but never care for you back, there will always be a person who actually care for you." He said that once I ask him why do he look so sad. He doesn't know what was the thing that actually made me feel down, but somehow his advice reminds me to stay strong.
I'll let Allah to decide what is the best for me. For one thing that I am sure is that, people will never stay. Only memory does. That is why I think what will happen if I wake up one morning and lose atleast half of my latest memories. Would my world still look the same? Would I see the people around me with the same way and do people stop hating me and start to accept the new me?
In this short period time left to end this second semester of being level 1 student, I started to force myself to accept the lost earlier before it happens. One thing for sure, I don't want it to end in the bad way. I wish only good memories as the end of spending our time together.
Human sometimes can be so weird. They often after something that unworthy for time, feelings and energy and left those things that are much more better from it. This circle will never stops until they lost everything that used to be with them and miss the moment of being having it.
Only after they feel the lost.
"There's no use of crying over the spilt milk." said Dayana in the OME Parody entitled Hostel. it sounds funny at that time when I cried once the water in the pail that I carried was toppled and the water splashes on the floor.
In real life, it is not. You will cry for real, regretting everything and if you can't turn back, you will regret for the rest of your life.
I keep telling this to myself, stand straight, take a deep breath, smile and walk with confidence. Conceal, don't feel and never let it show just like Elsa. Stand strong girl! You are Elsa. You stand on your own. Stop hoping for the others to notice, care or help you.
For this exam IV, I decided to change for real. I'll help along my friends, and my fellow little sisters. Because the only thing that will make me forget my sadness is by making others smile and happy.
Although I am not that strong, somehow often fell sick, hurt my eyes of too much of the light because forget to wear the spectacles, gastric when I didn't take my meal and easy to catch fever or cold.I just need to prove something!
In shaa Allah, I will.
I will always pray for the happiness the ones that I really care for.
I write this for one thng because I know, That person will never read this. Maybe it is better to be kept as secret. I'm sorry that I cried for the things that I shouldn't cry for. Only this blog is the way I express my feelings on.
I am young and I am stupid. I came to people's life and make their life worst.....
Sincerely me,
I learnt something. Sometimes you just need to give up to save you friendship or relationship. I lost so many friendships before and I don't want it to ever happen again but now, it seems that I lost my hope on this. I am starting to get tired to interfere others life while I don't even actually have the right to do it.
I think that I lost my sense of humanity of giving other people their privacy in life. I definitely hate myself for this. I think maybe if the right time has come, I'll leave certain people's life and pretend like nothing have ever happen. It hurts but its okay to sacrificed as long as they are happy.
When I am sad, I will keep on smiling to others, because I don't know who is in the pain at that moment same as mine. To see other people feeling down will only making you feel worse.
Najib, a friend of mine said that "No matter how you think people didn't notice or care about you, especially the people that you really care but never care for you back, there will always be a person who actually care for you." He said that once I ask him why do he look so sad. He doesn't know what was the thing that actually made me feel down, but somehow his advice reminds me to stay strong.
I'll let Allah to decide what is the best for me. For one thing that I am sure is that, people will never stay. Only memory does. That is why I think what will happen if I wake up one morning and lose atleast half of my latest memories. Would my world still look the same? Would I see the people around me with the same way and do people stop hating me and start to accept the new me?
In this short period time left to end this second semester of being level 1 student, I started to force myself to accept the lost earlier before it happens. One thing for sure, I don't want it to end in the bad way. I wish only good memories as the end of spending our time together.
Human sometimes can be so weird. They often after something that unworthy for time, feelings and energy and left those things that are much more better from it. This circle will never stops until they lost everything that used to be with them and miss the moment of being having it.
Only after they feel the lost.
"There's no use of crying over the spilt milk." said Dayana in the OME Parody entitled Hostel. it sounds funny at that time when I cried once the water in the pail that I carried was toppled and the water splashes on the floor.
In real life, it is not. You will cry for real, regretting everything and if you can't turn back, you will regret for the rest of your life.
I keep telling this to myself, stand straight, take a deep breath, smile and walk with confidence. Conceal, don't feel and never let it show just like Elsa. Stand strong girl! You are Elsa. You stand on your own. Stop hoping for the others to notice, care or help you.
For this exam IV, I decided to change for real. I'll help along my friends, and my fellow little sisters. Because the only thing that will make me forget my sadness is by making others smile and happy.
Although I am not that strong, somehow often fell sick, hurt my eyes of too much of the light because forget to wear the spectacles, gastric when I didn't take my meal and easy to catch fever or cold.I just need to prove something!
In shaa Allah, I will.
I will always pray for the happiness the ones that I really care for.
I write this for one thng because I know, That person will never read this. Maybe it is better to be kept as secret. I'm sorry that I cried for the things that I shouldn't cry for. Only this blog is the way I express my feelings on.
I am young and I am stupid. I came to people's life and make their life worst.....
Sincerely me,
